Far yet near!

•October 6, 2016 • Leave a Comment

far

Here I am with the burden of thoughts,

Here I am deep inside the rubble of despair,

Here I am amidst of unsorted clutter,

Here I am with instability hovering over.

 

I have been waiting a little too much,

To soothe myself with your subtle touch,

I yearn to rest my head on your shoulder,

How I wish I could be bolder.

 

I crave to sit beside you with cramped palms,

I want to endlessly talk about my turbulence,

Everyday my patience is incessantly put to test,

Every moment, I beg my fears to take rest.

 

You are going far-off every day,

It hurts me to see you drift away,

You are leaving behind everyone,

I can now sense a rift with a loved one.

 

I want to bring back your smile,

I am struggling to make you less fragile,

And I know despite of falling apart,

We will continue to rule each other’s heart.

Thirtysomething

•October 6, 2016 • Leave a Comment

rhucha

“It is hard to believe I am thirty”

I said, while I admire my beauty,

Ah! A flashback of thirty odd years,

Bring in lot of fears and tears!

 

Some things lost, some things gained,

Few bitter memories, many cherished,

Some great friends, few gone astray,

Some special bonds, some faded.

 

I want to set myself free;

Free from the burden of responsibility.

I want to walk by the beach,

Humming my favourite song.

 

I want to untie myself,

From the leash of perform or perish.

I wish to untangle myself,

From the clutches of rising melancholy.

 

I want to go back to my mother’s womb,

For now I know how beautiful is that loom,

Where I re-weave my naïve dreams,

And swim in the world of unknown realities.

 

At thirty years now-

Here I am, with a lot of zest and zeal,

To unfold every moment eagerly,

With brightness in my eyes and a sparkling smile,

I welcome a life that has vibrant shades and styles.

 

It’s about time to let go the unsolvable dilemma,

It’s time to forget the unalterable differences,

What I remember is-

I am awesomely elegant at thirty,

And I still look dazzling beneath my simplicity.

Power Packed Lady of my life.

•May 7, 2014 • Leave a Comment

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I have always read about women with power and substance, solidarity and intelligence, accolades and achievements in various tabloids, chat shows. But it was only eight years back when I learnt that I know a woman who exemplifies all these qualities. She is a friend with whom I can share anything and everything. A teacher, who advises me whenever I go wrong and a counsellor when my emotional cup is too full and most importantly like my mother who shouts at me for silly things I do.

She is an avid reader, die-hard Kishore Kumar fan, happily indulges in gardening and loves to be frank and transparent. She is mad after cashew nuts, mangoes and loves hen the cream falls in her morning tea. She was never inclined towards Arts, but she learnt kathak when she was a mother of two grown up boys. She was never very creative, but she paints her own kurtas beautifully. So in addition to the above mentioned qualities, I will add artistic and creative both to her list. I remember one instance fondly of her. I was emotionally down as I was stuck up with something and someone in my younger days. I was feeling totally drained. She came running to my house with tasty upma to pep my mood up. She made sure that I ate and I was alright the entire day. I never asked her to cushion me, but she did.

But one quality that I admire the most about her is ‘Being headstrong’. This distinguishes her from every other lady whom I have met in my life. Like every human being, I have a habit to crib and cry whenever things do not work in my favour. But heaps of experiences about her life, buried in her closet for years together, was something that shook me.

She is a post graduate from Podar college( one of the best in the city for Commerce)She was working with PNB with a decent salary. However, I can only recollect that she has taken VRS. I do not know the exact reason for it. But her family was upset and worried. That time, I was not very close to her.  I did not go into depth as I was too young.

As day passed by, we started sharing a bond. She narrated many stories that moved me. She was a young married woman when she learnt about her husband’s alcoholic habits. At the age when she could have explored new places, enjoyed every moment, she was exploring the other side(not an ideal situation) of her husband. Definitely she was shattered as no wife will tolerate a man who comes home drunk and has no conscious while talking. Whether this was because of bad company or  his interests, I do not know. Her husband switched jobs while her young boys were growing up. It would be a challenge for her to be a father and mother both to her children and preserve her emotional tranquillity. His habit was giving her too much stress each and every day that passed. It is such an awkward position to face when your life partner does not indulge in you, but indulges in alcohol for no reason. It feels so defeated and helpless at the same time. One wants to change things, but has no willingness to do so. Things were getting difficult and I am sure any ordinary woman would have broken down or got divorced. She had to face embarassment in public and among family. There were many occasions where she came alone and typical Indian society popped questions out asking for her husband. At times, I feel, is husband a woman’s asset or liability?

He was sent to re-habilitation centre and she kept a proper track of his development. At times, she succeeded in bringing him back to normal and at times she failed. Her nephews called and always there was a negative feedback from that end. I have seen her weeping, crying. She had every right to question God, “Why me?” I am sure she felt bad about leaving her job, but she recollected that her friend said that “She is an undercover agent who is doing such good work by helping one person live a normal life.”She did not give up till the end. I think her optimism changed her life. She kept in touch with doctors. Many a times, she shuttled between Mumbai and Pune to have a look at his progress. And importantly, all this was not known to her family members. I can called her as ‘One Man Army’. After leaving the job, she took good care of her children. At no point, her children compromised on their education and wants. The only thing they compromised was their father who had no realisation at that point in time.  Her father-in-law apologised to her, but I believe a glass broken can never be mended.

But gradually a lady fighting her lone battle succeeded. Her in-laws did not treat her like she should have been. With the help of doctors, counsellors and most importantly her determination, things started changing. Imagine if she would have given up in life, she would not been proud of her achievements. He wanted to get rid of that habit and start life afresh. She and her children understood his temperaments for all these years and now it was time to breathe a sigh of relief. With the help of their love, affection, will power and motivation, he is a normal human being in today’s date. He is a yoga teacher and earns well to satisfy his and his family’s needs. He does not mix with people much, however his interactions are quite sensible. He supports her in household work whenever the need be. One thing he still lacks is-Standing up for his wife. She has significantly contributed to make him what he is. I strongly believe that she has given him birth. A new man is reborn and this time a better one. Her elder son is pursuing studies in abroad and younger one is in the making of becoming a Chartered Accountant.

Good qualification, attractive salary, plush house in a complex, membership in an elite club will satisfy your comforts and luxuries. But knowing about the magical touch you have of changing someone’s life has a much bigger satisfaction. It gives you a sense of victory. It makes you cheer for yourself every single day because you defeated all odds in adverse situation. I respect her for the positivity that she emits. Life has given her bitter experiences, but they have acted as teachers for her. I am glad that she is a part of my life.

She always tells me that Life is divided into 4 quadrants-husband, children work and yourself. All have been allotted 25% weighted. In case if 25% is rotten, we do not have the right to spoil the rest 75% which stands good.

Swami Vivekananda quoted, ” The world is the great gymnasium where we come to make ourselves strong.”

This is for her:

“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.”

-Thomas Paine.

 

 

 

 

 

Kismat Connection

•May 7, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Indians grow up watching Bollywood movies. We weep, giggle, empathise , sympathise watching these movies. Most of the movies stress on love triangles, comedy, romance with a happy ending or women centric content. But one of the all time hit topic that a feature presentation in India elucidates is “Friendship”.

I had been thinking since a long time to pour my heart out. Now is the right time. I took admission for my B.Ed course at Pillai’s College, Chembur in July 2012. I was a 26 year old, newly married girl then. I was a bit hesitant, apprehensive, nervous, enthusiastic, happy as I was pursuing my education after working in Corporate and a gap of 4 years.

It was our first day. I met Tanvi in Hotel Krishna, where she was gulping down the fried rice with another friend. I and one other friend joined her there. We started off from that day. Of course it was not instant tuning between us but a gradual bonding. We met every day in college and started being together. Thanks to that friend who introduced Tanvi to me. We chatted late in the night, laughed at naughty jokes, went to Dominos, studied, exchanged notes. And I am still clueless when the sharing of a piece of pizza transformed into sharing our lives. Tanvi has one of the sweetest smile on this entire earth. She is like an Angel who will cling on to you in the worst situation of your life. Having worked in corporate, I had almost lost my skills in Arts and Craft. But she helped me at every point. I had a PPT to make for my team and I was very tensed about it. She was with me throughout right from sorting every detail of the PPT, inserting pictures, giving effects and making it effective. It was not her job but she was awake with me till 3.30 am in the morning until I did the editing and finalised it. I delivered the presentation and everyone applauded. The credit solely went to her.

After the course had already begun, Betsy joined the college. She was perplexed about everything around since she was new. But she is known for her talking skills(and that too non-stop), so it was not very difficult to mingle with each other. We exchanged few things here and there and soon became friends. She is one person who is honest enough to call at 11 pm and ask me to counsel her whenever she is low. I can vouch on one thing about  her is she will never back stab me. She is upfront enough to tell me wherever I go wrong.  She is one strong girl who tries to manage household issues, her difficult school  job and crazy friends like us. I remember it was our Philosophy paper and I was nervous like usual. But she called me and asked to close my eyes and pray silently. And that worked!She was equally anxious about the first paper, but she took out time for me and walked that extra mile.

I lost my father-in-law in February 2013. It was a big blow to our family. Both of them stood by me in that testing period. They made my life easier. They visited me often and brought me back to normal. They encouraged me to study for the B.Ed Internal tests and helped me with submissions. Not even blood ties support you today. I have one vivid memory in my mind. My husband and myself met with an accident in February 2014. Both of them, after their hectic school schedule, came home to visit me. Inspite of being tired, both of them cooked tasty pasta so that I can take enough rest. It is rightly said that “The language of friendship is not words but meanings.”

Finally B.Ed got over with sweet memories. It was one of the most proud moment for me as I topped the college in University examinations. I would say that it was a dream come true for both of them as they always called me “topper”. Obviously they were a part of my felicitation ceremony cheering and clapping for me. I could see spark in their eyes and smile on their face while I gave the speech. It was because of my two crazy friends that I dared to dream. Aristotle remarked about friend , “What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” But while we clicked pictures after the felicitation, I grinned and said to myself ‘ it was single soul in three bodies’.

I have had many friends till date, but these two are the most special. We have cried together in sorrow, laughed together insanely in BEST bus, discussed many issues, munched till our tummies burst and already plan about going to a new eatery, argued with each other until we convince our point, walked down lonely lanes talking nothing. We were destined to meet. It is our karmic connection with each other that helped us survive inspite of all odds. Everything remains in the diary of my heart as a memory.

As Oprah Winfrey says , “ Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” and I truly found mine!

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How I wish………..

•April 12, 2013 • Leave a Comment

rain

I want to gaze at the rising sun with you,
I want to stare at the setting sun with you,
I want to sing a song with you,
I want to dance in rain with you.

I want to have stroll on the beach,
I wish where no one would reach,
I want to rest in your arms,
I want to stare at the sky without any qualms

I want you to caress me,
I want to cling to your body fearlessly,
I want to take your lips inside me,
I want us to be in our own beautiful world.

I want you to treat me like a queen,
I want you to express to me what I mean,
I want you to fill my emptiness,
I want you to ward off my loneliness.

How I wish one day we are carefree,
How I wish one day you complete with me,
How I wish one day you can only see me,
How I wish one day you can only feel me!

Life with you…

•April 12, 2013 • Leave a Comment

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I thought everything is so beautiful,

I thought everything is going to be better,

I thought everything is just right,

Before testing destiny’s might.

 

I lost confidence in me,

Every time life became messy,

I lost faith in me,

Every time life acted mean.

 

I don’t know when,

This tough time will end,

I don’t know where,

My solution lies.

 

I don’t know what,

My life has thought,

But one thing I know,

Will drive away all my sorrow.

 

And that’s when I hold your finger,

I realize in my mind, I have nothing to linger,

When you look into my eyes, I feel lighter,

I can sense assurance and feel like fighter.

 

When your body rubs against mine,

It sends shivers down my spine,

When all thoughts flock and we talk,

I can see you standing by me like a rock!

 

I am hurt that you’re so away,

All I can feel is a vacuum today,

I no more complete you,

That is so true.

 

I am feeling extremely blue,

Because my life is colorless without you,

I am clueless how do I spell out,

That my life has no meaning without you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time flies………..

•May 31, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I wondered today how fast time flew,
When I think of lovely moments I spent with you.
Some say love fades with time,
Although with me, there is no such sign!

Quickly as the days passed,
I realized we were poles apart.
As the months rolled,
I started seeing us as unique.
As years rushed further,
I knew we are made for each other.

Being with you more often,
The colour of our love deepened.
We had our share of happiness,
That we celebrated with whole heart,
Our lows popped like a shock,
But I am proud; we stood by like a rock.

As we move forward to do our best,
Our relationship will be put to test,
Many a times we will fall,
But in the end our dreams will stand tall!